Originally posted 2007-07-25 15:20:56. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
It all started out at 9:04 a.m. on April 17 in 1979. I was baptized a few months later (Methodist).
Fast forward lots of years….
At 12, I went through confirmation (still Methodist). I attended church all the time. Pretty much any time the doors were opened, I was there.
At high school and college I began to venture out into the world. All the bad stuff. I don’t have to go into details but if it was out there, I was in it.
I really started wondering about Christianity at college. I knew there was something more than I needed. I wasn’t quite sure, but something was missing. In October 1997, I went on the Fall Prayer Retreat with the Wesley Foundation at Arkansas State. I discovered what I was missing. JESUS! Right then, I decided to change. I tried my best to stay on the right track. Nope didn’t happen. I moved out of the dorms and into my own place. Talk about FREEDOM! I loved it. I loved it so much I dropped out of school and began to work full time for Pizza Inn in Jonesboro. I thought my life was awesome, yet something was still missing.
In March of 1998, my grandfather died. This was the first time that someone that close to me has passed away. I was so angry. The something I was missing was going to stay missing for a long time. I didn’t even care if he every found me. I was so mad that I didn’t even want people to mention God’s name.
In December of 1999, I met Michael. He changed me quite a bit. Here was a guy that never had sex, drank, or smoked. I couldn’t believe it, there were still people out there like this. I thought he was a complete dork for this. Boy was I wrong, he was a great guy. Never before had I had someone care so much for me.
In May 2000, I dumped him. I was so confused. No way was I going to be around someone like him. Old boyfriend came back into the picture. He was funny, drank alcohol, etc. This was what I wanted. So see you later Michael. During that summer, I ventured further out into by rebellious state. I got my tongue pierced. I was like, oh yeah, Michael will for sure turn the other direction and not look back. All I can say is thank goodness, he never gave up.
In May 2001, I moved home. My mom was getting sicker with lung cancer and I was accomplishing nothing in Jonesboro. I enrolled at UAM to become a teacher. That was the best decision I have ever made. In February, my mother passed away. Michael was again by my side. He is so sweet.
In June of 2002 we got married. Life was the greatest. Who needed Jesus? I had Michael.
In November of 2003, Ashton was born. Here I had my husband and now my baby boy. I was still missing something. My heart was still empty.
In January of 2005, we moved to Jonesboro. We are still in pursuit of true happiness. Guess what it wasn’t there. We are back in Monticello. We still were not following God’s will and it kicked us in the butt.
In May of 2005, we moved to Arkansas City to stay with my Dad until my internship was over in December 2005. On May 31, we took Dad to the hospital because he was not feeling well at all. Two weeks later and still in the hospital, we determined it was pancreatic cancer. Jesus had just taken a plug out of my heart. Again, I was angry. I was just determining who I was through my Dad. My mom and he were divorced before I could ever remember. I lived with my mom. After Mom died, I grew closer to Dad. I finally realized who I was. I was my Dad made over. In September of 2005, I went with my Dad to the chemo doctor (sorry don’t know that official name for it). I will never forget the words of the doctor and to this day they still haunt me. “You need to get prepared. Out of 10 patients in your same conditions, 9 of them would not see Christmas.” Trying to hold it all in and not cry in front of him, I was crushed. Great my whole world was being destroyed. Again, I became angry. I guess this is just the first feeling that you feel with someone close to you leaves. We all went home and prepared for Hospice to come. Through that month, I grew closer to God. I prayed constantly for him to take my Dad, I hated to see him suffer and be in pain. On October 7, 2005, he passed away.
After this we moved back to UAM family housing. We were not in church. We then met Phillip. Michael and he clicked the first meeting. We were invited to the family housing small group. We were finding our place. Notice I said out place not our God. We used it more for social reasons.
In March 2006, I thought I was going to get a divorce. We were at this point struggling a lot. Michael went and talked to Jeff about his problem. Things were getting better but I was angry that Michael had someone to talk to. Being who I was, I had too much pride to admit what had happened. Yet, I knew there was something I was missing or thought I was missing. JESUS. In fact, he was there carrying me through this whole situation. I could actually feel him. From that day forward, Jesus was in my heart. There was no taking him out.
Fast forward to present time…
I can say that Jesus reminds everyday of his miraculous ways. I am not saying that I am perfect or ever will be, but I am God’s child. I strive to do what is right and make him to the happy dance up in heaven.
